i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
