Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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