you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
