If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
