Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
