He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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