A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
