I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
