we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
