I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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