ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
