And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
