it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
