Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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