Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sext me about skeletons
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
