You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
