awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
