If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
