tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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