If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
