And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
