woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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