Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I have grass duct taped all over my body
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
