Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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