What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
