I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
