dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I skipped work to stalk him.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
