Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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