please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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