shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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