he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
