Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Randomize
