road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
