If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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