But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
