Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
