I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
