is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
