Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
