so explain again why im purple
no
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
