youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
