Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
