you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
