I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
