Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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