Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
