I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
