yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
