I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
