Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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